ok just some question about love and having a relationship. Im young just 19 years old but I honestly think I met the one I want to share my life with, don't tell me how but I can just feel it. And we all now that having a relationship with someone isn't all that easy, its much about trust,understandness etc. My question for you is how much shall you sacrifise for a relationship? Is it ok to change your future life just because you´ve met someone? and how much can you actually trust a girl who really loves you and is a girl who´s really serious about go into stuff like this....?
It depends what you mean by change. Are we talking quitting a job at a strip club to become a humanitarian change? Or like, moving from Spring to Clear Lake? I'd be wary of expecting major life changes from anyone, no matter how in love you are now. Old habits die hard, and have a history of coming back once things become comfortable and routine again. You should feel comfortable with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, otherwise you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of discomfort. But you should definitely sacrifice for the one you love, and she should sacrifice for you. The best relationships are those where you both feel like you're getting more out of the relationship than the other.
I don't think I'll ever understand why many women date a guy who they apparently think needs so many changes. If they don't like who the guy is, why are they dating him? I agree with making compromises to a degree, but I've known many women who've basically wanted to change important aspects of their boyfriends - wanting to change things that make these people who they are. I admit that I know a lot of flakey people (it's just the nature of the biz) who I'd want to change if I were in a relationship with them, but instead of getting involved with them and trying to get them to change, I just don't get into a relationship with them.
when I mean sacrifise I meen all kind of things, when it comes to me I have stopped drinking and I will a more religious guy then I was before. I've also changed my plans for the future just because of her. But isn't also so that for us guys its always harder to find a really good girl that loves you? Cause we all knows that an avarage looking girl still has plenty more options of men then us avarage joe's have...
And in a few years, you'll resent her for making you in to something you're not. If you're not changing because you actually want to change for you, it's likely to cause problems later. If that's the case, then it's because women fall for the wrong kind of people and then want to make them into something other than what they are. Plus, she apparently doesn't like you. She wants to change you into someone else. I admit it's different when you're 19 years-old. A lot of times, they're simply looking for different things in a mate (and are often still a good bit selfish and not so big on compromise on their end maybe because they've not had to really compromise to that point). That's not to say every young woman is like that (or that young men arep perfect or anything). Just that I've noticed it to be the case with people I know. I've not noticed that to be the case. There's more of them than there are of us. If anything, we should have more options. The fact that we're so often willing to be p-whipped because of our fear of being alone or whatever leads to this perception that women have all the options. In the past, I did the changing thing. I was married and I tried very hard to make all the changes she wanted me to make (and there were a lot of 'em, making one wonder why she ever dated me in the first place), and in the end, she ended up leaving me anyway (I think part of it was that she didn't like the changed me as much as she thought she would, and on top of that, there's only so far a person can change themselves, and she wanted more from me than I could give). And because of that, I set myself back years not only in my career, but in my personal life. It took me years just to recover from the divorce, and even then, since my former wife had always bad mouthed what I had wanted to do and my abilities to do it, I lacked a lot of confidence in even trying even after she was gone.
You are too young to change your future because of her. Dont rush anything...if its meant to be, you will still have her 5 years from now.
for me its basically just that I need to be more religious if I want to marry her,because to her religion is important and for her parents to accept me I must be religious. Im okay with that I already have that religion in my culture but I've never been religious but Im willing to be that if that's what it takes to be with my girl.
only u can judge but remember It is not CHANGING you it is IMPROVING YOU If it improves u . . .go with it. . . if it does not improve u . . .BE CONCERNED and like actors who play like statues . . . make sure u in a comfortable position . . . If something makes u uncomfortable voice it . . and address it don't swallow your tongue don't forget. . . YOURSELF u cannot be what she wants u to be unless it is who u are Rocket River
