Good stuff moes. I'm not even that old but the only real thing I regret in life is not keeping in touch with my old friends and people I used to care about a lot. I probably should use this thread as a reminder that I should do reconnect especially nowadays it's so easy with email and things like facebook.
letting go and seeing that resentment harbor poison is a sometimes very hard to do/see. glad you were able to. hope the communication continues.
Update: after 8 months of emailing back and forth, I had the chance to reunite with my dad after 26 years apart. We didn't get to spend as much time together as I would have liked, since it was a short trip and I was there for a wedding, but we spent a couple hours talking and it was cool. We were both kind of nervous. I introduced him to my wife and his grandson then we had to leave. He invited us to come back for a cookout. Friday was supposed to be our last day there, but I had a few too many beers at my sister's wedding reception and time slipped away. So I told my wife let's see if we can extend our stay an extra day and we did. Saturday afternoon I showed up back at dad's place with a 6 pack of Moose drool. He was sitting outside still in his robe. He looked at me strangely and said "I thought you were out of here." I said "I decided to stay an extra day, I told you I was coming back." We knocked back a couple cold ones and talked for a couple hours about anything and everything. Literature, opera, technology, love, politics. Then he grilled up some burgers and made ice cream from scratch. It was the kind of thing that felt so surreal even as it was happening. I told him I loved him as we left and he said the same. I'm sad to be away from him now. He's mostly all alone and seemed so glad just to have someone to talk to. It's never too late.
So happy for both you and your dad. It's inspiring to know that you weren't bitter about the past, and that you opened your heart to him. By doing so you gained a father, and he gained you, a DIL as well as grandchildren. Here's to you and your family making great memories in the future. Thanks again for sharing your story!!
Great read, thanks for sharing OP! Loved the update (I missed the original post/thread but went back and am caught up now). I'm happy it went well for you!
Great it worked out for you guys. I have a similar story like yours. Long story short I told my dad to pepper the fajita I'll be there with my hundreds of kids and with his hundreds of kids, mother****er invites his brother and his friend over for beers??? This ain't a house party break. Anyways, you don't wonder why he's on his 3 marriage. Can't seat still and enjoy his family for 1 second.
How about a real version, a memoir you write with him about his life and your discovery of it. You could sell that and people would gain so much from it. Novels are very hard to sell/publish. You're a good writer and this is all within reason.
Lost my dad a couple of years ago, almost every single day I think about things we should/would have talked about, or things we should be doing together, or something along those lines. No, it's never too late.
So the moral of the story is that good things will happen when you indulge in too many beers. Seriously, I'm glad that you had the experience and got the chance for a face to face. I'm sure it had to feel very strange, since it's something so completely new.
thanks for sharing. this is the kind of story you see in a movie...cool to hear about a real life version.
Lost my dad to cancer a little over ten years ago. I didn't have a good relationship with him while growing up, but got to understand him more in the last three years of his life. In the time since, there's been many things I could relate and understand. Not sure if I could've open up to him if he had pulled through cancer though, though at least I'm glad I was able to convey enough to him while he was around. Family can sometimes be a twisted and knotted thing. Thanks for sharing Moes, and kudos for reaching out to him and moving beyond that pain. It takes a lot of faith and I'm aware the idea of payback is oh so present even if ultimately it's the most destructive thing to the precious time we all have left. I'd be interested in a memoir. Family or bloodlines is something we can't choose but pulls us all in similar ways.
