Hello Clutchfans. I usually don't post anything about my social life but I need some words of encouragement and cheering up. I am going to condense this so hopefully it's not too long of a story. Well I am only 20 years old, and for the past 2 1/2 years I've been with the only real girlfriend I've ever had. We clicked from the start and she is the only girl that made me feel comfortable. I feel in love with her after only a couple months of dating, I was young and stupid. Things went great for the first year, but then I left Houston to go to college in Boston, while she was in high school one more year (she eventually went to HBU). Things started to go south from there. We made "promises" to each other (her idea) that we wouldn't drink or hang out with the opposite sex one on one (really a dumb agreement but I was down). Well she started lying to me and I found out she was hanging with this one dude, going to plays with him, etc. No big deal, I was upset that she broke the promise but it wasn't really a big deal to me. Keep in mind, the first two years in college I didn't get drunk, didn't smoke, and didn't go out that much, because I knew she would be uncomfortable. So after she goes to HBU she meets these guys. The first guy she starts flirting with and hanging out with him while lying to me about it. I saw her phone (she left it open and on when she went to the bathroom) saying "I lied to my bf.." and that's it. So I asked her about it and she said she went out to lunch with this guy and lied to me and said it was with other people. Why would she even feel the need to lie to me? She admitted that he was a flirty type and she flirted back on occasion. I put up with it. Finally, she meets this other guy and they start to get real close. I ask her to stop hanging out with him because I am afraid of losing her. We have become off and on at the time because she keeps lying to me etc. Won't go into too much detail but eventually I come home (in May) and she says that she doesn't see herself with me anymore (she had become super religious at HBU and didn't want to have sex anymore and wanted me to go to church every Sunday). That night I asked her if there was another guy and she said no. Well a few weeks later with no contact goes buy and I text her asking how she's doing, that I didn't like how we ended things, etc. She tells me she has a new bf (already) and that she started liking him before I even got back, she started hooking up with him literally the day after I left (I'm in Boston now for the first part of the summer). So I'm raging and what not, but I stop talking to her. She texts me a few days later and says that she ended things with her bf and still has feelings for me. I told her I come home in a week, and to just wait for me and see how things go from there. Well today she hooked up with him again and essentially chose him over me. Without letting me know and breaking our agreement. Basically she ended things because of the long distance, but she hurt me so much. This really sucks and I could use some advice. This is very painful and I miss her very much. I am going to try not to talk to her again. It really sucks because I know she still loves me but she only chose this new guy because he is super religious like her and he is in Houston. I'm not really sure what I did wrong, besides being in Boston. Sorry for the long story, I know this isn't a big deal to a lot of you guys but she's the only girl I've loved like this. Just wanted to talk to someone about this.
Long distance situations end poorly 99% of the time so that's something you shouldn't have tried to do, especially at that age. Secondly, whenever you're confused about what a woman says just see what she's actually doing. If shes distant, evasive, aloof, and has an excuse for everything then she's already detached from you emotionally and you should move on immediately. If you continue to let her use you and you keep hanging on then that's your fault. Make yourself difficult to get in touch with and do not contact her in any way. She might figure it out and make a serious effort to reconnect with you or you'll see she was just stringing you along and you will have moved on, either way you're better off.
*SIGH* The bolded parts are red flags and places that make me shake my head. I'll make it short: you're very young still. Your GF has a pattern of making and breaking agreements. You kept your end of the deal and got screwed over. She had a blast. She's also had a close relationship with 3 guys already while you're still pining after her. She broke up with you, yet you reached out to her? After she lied to you so much? I don't think you know whether she loves you. I'm not sure what lying, possibly cheating, and moving onto a new guy this fast has to do with being super religious. Some of the most promiscuous girls I met claimed to be very religious. Use your sense. You need confidence in yourself. Stop placing her on a pedestal. At 20 years of age, you have easy access to a social network. Get out there and meet new people.
I was in a similar situation as you a few years ago and looking back on it I don't think I handled it well. My advice to you- Your young, your in college, go meet people and have the best years of your life..Don't be sad over her 24/7. Just use this as a positive. Obviously it's easier said than done, but you pretty much got your life ahead of you and girls will never be as easy bang as they are in college, so take advantage of it..Go out and have fun.. Make new friends..The more you occupy yourself the less you will think about her..In a few years you will be looking back at this and not give a **** about her
Just move on, man. With all the lying and betrayal that she's done, you've got to realize that in the end she isn't worth the time. If I had to advise you with anything, it would be to never fall for the "I still have feelings for you" card. Avoid any cries for undeserving attention. Break-ups are tough, especially considering how much you may have emotionally invested into this relationship. Luckily you're still young and in college so just go on and meet some new people and have some fun. Most importantly, just try to be happy. There's nothing else that make someone regret their decision to end a relationship than to see their ex happier without them.
Honestly... she was prob ****ing that dude since day one. Get over it and move on. Stay active and keep your mind busy.
You aite breh. Good news is, you'll find someone much more attractive than her that will connect with you just like she did--and even better. Just keep being you. Might as well go to the gym and put that frustration and anger to good use and turn yourself into eye candy for girls. Also I hope this doesn't make you distrust women or anything like that. I don't believe in the "only one person for you/soul mate" deal. There are countless chicks out there that are potential soul mates. Go out and find one. Last thing, post a pic of said ex.
get into the gym and take it out there. Gym is my heaven for all problems then basketball. I know that feeling bbrrrreeh, it hurts. I got my sweetie that we been since thick and thin, when I was broke, a secretary girl that buys me stuff, a girl that's finer than the best face ass rack combo but is coming with baby daddy drama. I say keep stackin talking to all girls. keep it friendly. I'm not a player doe.
Super religious translates to hella experimental before the born again phase. She was testing you and comparison shopping. You don't need that. Not all women are the same, so now is a good opportunity to figure it out. Exersise will reduce stress and being social will make it less crappy. Time will heal this one, but it doesn't mean you have to sit around until you get over that hump
You're in college. Go party and get laid. You're 20, you have lots of time and there are many other fish. As my dad told me when I was 20 and had a rough break up. Go **** like a jack hammer... And use a condom.
"when you love something so much you have to let it go." or in this case move on from that girl yo! she's not worth your time man
When they go "super religious" it's over. Your story is a common one. Started college, tried to retain first love from high school, it doesn't work. If it makes you feel better, here's something that happened to me when I was your age: my gf of ~2 years, who came from a rough past and who I financially supported despite being a broke college kid, started making cross state trips to bang some dude under the guise of visiting her sick grandma. This worst part is I was paying for these sex trips. That pissed me off, but in my case it was different because I was looking for a reason to kick her out on the street and not feel bad about it. But the point is, these things happen when you're young. You'll be ok.
Best advice is, and i know this sucks. Get over her, she doesn't love you. DO NOT drag your self along and say your self she still loves you, she doesn't and its over!!! **** her, she isn't good enough for you. When i went through my first real break up and of course she broke up with me, i cried like crazy for about a month. But when that month was over...i was free and i felt sooo good. I saw her face to face a couple of months later and she begged for me back and i didn't give one ****, laughed and said no. I was completely over her, i felt no more pain from her BS and it was because i told my self it was over and faced that. She didn't love me, she did so many ****ed up things to me and i was so good to her...and i got over her forever in a couple of months. So buddy please do the best thing for your self and get over her, don't be like one of my many many friends who never faced the fact that it was over, and never got over there ex's. Best of luck man
Forget her, she is done. No matter how bad it hurts, you will overcome it. Go do something different, go hang out with your friends more often, play video games, watch movies, or do something that doesn't remind her. More of you, less of her. If you go back, hurting will come back. Move on and meet better girls. Don't rekindled old flame, once a cheater will always be a cheater. Eventually, you will get hooked up again, but don't be with her again.
cry a little and then focus on something different that you been wanting to do. Get your mind in a different place.
