What's up guys I don't normally post personal stuff but this forum has been with me longer than any girl so I just found it helpful to make this. I just had my first break up. We were together 3 years and she was my first girlfriend. Technically we called it a "break" but it's hard for me to reconcile my love for her and then not believe in the idea that after xxx amount of time we won't get back together. Hence why I said "break" but honestly I'm not sure. We had a talk on the phone which got disconnected, then 30 mins or so past and she sent me a text saying we should go on a break. I was writing the same text as well. We've had a rocky 3 months and have come close to breaking up like 5x in that span. This time was the first time both of us agreed and it feels like this is for real. After we sent the texts, all contact stopped. Should I just leave it like that? I imagine she's gonna reach out to me for her stuff at some point. I'm almost looking forward to seeing her again and maybe we get back together? Even though it might not be a good thing. Immediately after sending the text I felt a bit of relief to be honest. Like I am "free" from being worried, and don't have the pressure to adapt myself for this relationship. (there were things I needed to work on at a personal level for this relationship to survive). However my apartment is filled with our memories. I then got really sad but I'm feeling okay now as I'm typing this. Should I treat this as a full break up? Admittedly I sent a text describing a "break" and ideally we get back together. Which makes sense because I love her dearly. On the other hand I'm kind of excited (after I get over the breakup) to be single again after all this time. Is it bad if I'm already wanting to turn on dating apps again? Would that kill any hope of getting back together?
fishes and oceans aside... hope you aite breh. it's never easy when someone you loved dies. hope yall don't have mutual friends. on the bright side, rebounds are great. should hope on that train for a bit. the pain will wear off.
From general experience you'll probably get back together, then realize why it didn't work out in the first place. Then usually it will fizzle out and you'll be able to move on easier. If you're already on the apps again within a few hours, then maybe you weren't super into her in the first place or you are just looking for someone to talk to since there is a void. Either way you'll be happier in six months.
You have been registered here since 2009, so I assume you are at least in your mid-20s, maybe early 30s? May be good to explore what else is out there?
Well it seems like she made the decision for me. She just called me and confirmed this is a full break up and not just a break. I felt in my heart it was this trending this way. Apparently she talked to her friends who sort of confirmed certain reasons why I was no good for her. Anyway whatever. Moving on.
Skip hoping she will change her mind, she won't. Skip trying to win her back, you can't. Skip trying to be friends with her, it doesn't work. Skip the self pity, it's a waste of time. Skip thinking you lost, you won. Now that you've saved a lot of wasted time, get busy living.
You have to go No Contact. It will be hard but it has be done. In a few months you will probably think of your time together fondly but it will be much easier to not want to reach out. It will probably drive her crazy that you aren't contacting her.
It’s to early to see this now. She is now part of you, your past. Her memories will aid you in your future. Be grateful for time spent. She is now part of you both good and bad. What ever happened doesn’t have to happen again in your next relationships, learn & grow. All that said, work on you. Make some “just you” goals to achieve. Write them and post them. Be the best you. It’s great to be alone sometimes, it’s the only way to find out who you are. Remember you have to be worth having in the next relationship & not just anyone is good enough for you. If your working towards your goals good things will start happening because you are making them happen. Set personal goals. Pull out your calendar and set some time to feel the hurt. Then never look back because you already dealt with it. When your mind wants to go there => work on a just you goals.
If this is your first breakup, this could be your first chance at “post breakup drunk hookup sex with a ex”……..which sometimes can be more memorable than the whole relationship that preceded it.
How old are you? If you are younger than 25, I’d say move on to a new relationship. You’re not the same person you were 3 years ago, and neither is she. But who you are now is likely who you will be in 10 years. Don’t suffer needlessly.
Now comes the fun part! Lose the relationship weight & get jacked! Don’t worry about legs, focus on them glamour muscles bro!!! Update that wardrobe! b****es love tight shirts! b****es and money!!!! Key pointers! At 10 she’s a 2…but at 2 she’s a 10! If you’re poor, pregame the drinks at your place! Neg neg neg! b****es love assholes! Be the loudest breh in the bar! Tricks love confidence! Wrap that **** up! She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years!
On a serious note, sounds like it's the perfect time to just make a clean break. Wishing you luck OP. Breakups can be a blessing in disguise but can suck until you move on from it.
You sound like you are more glad than sad that it happened. I know it’s hard at first but as time goes on, it gets easier. All the memories that are attached to each thing(like a song, place, etc.) it’s going to sting at first but will pass. I would go no contact going forward. I think you both realize it won’t work and you already broken up or almost did. Some people just don’t fit together and if there are irreconcilable differences, then that’s that. As long as you both tried and the problems aren’t minute, I think it’s the best for everyone. Don’t sweat it and the worst thing you can do is to play everything in your mind and wonder where it went wrong and what you did wrong to cause it and blame yourself. Spend time on different things, hobbies, go to people who are in your circle and they will help as well.
This will be the best in the long run. Sucks to hear now, I know. Feel shitty for a bit. Then work on yourself, as others have said. The best part is coming later.
