BRAVO! I found your column quite interesting especially the part about Malone's elbow to Jerry Sichting, not to mention the fued between Ralph Miller and Greg Anfernee. Equally captivating was your use of words like "mulcissitude". You managed to ask the question that we all want to ask but are afraid, like "I wonder why LA did not use Rodman last night?". Keep up the excellent work Hutz. Right about now, I'm thinking Pulitzer.
LHutz is my hero. I really think he is Crackhead Bob from the Howard Stern show. When I grow up, I want to be just like him. I hope I never grow up. ------------------ HOW SWEET IT WAS (AND COULD BE AGAIN)!!!!!!!!!!
Genius. Pure genius. This is easily the freshest writing since William S. Burroughs. True or not, I hope everyone will allow me to think I planted the seed.
Wow this is flattereng, I am glad you all like my writing!!! To be compared to President Burrows is an honor!!! THANK YOU ALL! ------------------ Tell the TRUTH or face the DUKE'S CONSQEUNCES!
LHutz, You are going to be the very reason that I continue to visit the website. I don't know if Clutch doesn't like you, but I can tell you this, he is a FOOL for not putting you on your own column. Maybe we can start a petition because it is SOOOOO obvious that you write with great flair and attention to detail. And I just love the way you bounced around the league topics so flawlessly. Great job, Hutz. Keep up the good work! ------------------ Honored to be outargued by the: DUKE, DUKE, DUKE, DUKE, OF TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH.
Huh? Right. Apologies for not playing-along with the thread. But I have to say.... LHutz, you write the funniest stuff on this site, bar none! Greg Anfernee and Jerry Sichting would be proud if they were your parents. Huh? Right.
"Allen Iverson was on the Television this week. I forget witch channel. I think this guy is the nxt Dennis Rodman, he kept saying he was 'Miss Understood'. Look out Dennis, Allen wants to be women too!!!!!!" - genius
Forget Clutch City, Hutz. Clutch would only stifle your budding talent. Come write for Slate. I know we should leave the Hutz mystery alone, but I'm tempted to play detective. Clue #1: It's highly unlikely that whoever posts as Hutz could have devised this character without being well acquainted with the BBS. So I think Hutz has a "real" alias from which he posted beforehand. Clue #2: Posting as Hutz takes time and thought. So whoever posts as Hutz has less time and energy to post under the alias he used beforehand. Also, whoever posts as Hutz must be doing so because he's bored with serious posts and prefers to inject comedy. All of which implies that Hutz's previous alias has probably become scarce lately. Clue #3: Hutz has a clever sense of humor. The abusive language joke and the President Burrows quip are hilarious. Clue #4: Hutz says he is a lawyer. The only logical reasons for him to say this are (a) he is a lawyer or (b) he is not a lawyer and loves to make fun of lawyers. The fact that he posts so much might suggest that he has too much time on his hands and therefore is not a busy lawyer in private practice. However, Tod the Bod is a lawyer and has time to post as much as LHutz does. Next consideration: The fact that Hutz has chosen a caricature of lawyer (Lionel Hutz) as his alias suggests he loves to make fun of lawyers. But this does not rule out the possibility that he is one of the millions of self-hating lawyers. I think that the "abusive language" joke and the "miss understood" pun are the kinds of jokes a lawyer would come up with. And I think poor spelling is the kind of ignorance lawyers love to mock. And Hutz has tossed out words such as "mulcissitude" several times now. I think these are giveaways. I think Hutz is a lawyer. Clue #5: Hutz has singled out Almu to pick a comic fight with. He has even included Almu in his profile. The odds are that Hutz in his previous incarnation (i.e., "real" alias) had some friendly or adversarial relationship with Almu on the BBS. Clue #6: If I recall correctly, Hutz first appeared as a defender of Tod, and Tod was the first to defend LHutz in turn. So there is always the possibility that Hutz is Tod. But I think it's unlikely that any lawyer has time to play both of these characters at once. I don't know of anybody who matches all the clues. My best guess is that Hutz is Keeley. You're welcome to make your own guess, or just accept the mystery and enjoy the laughs. ------------------ Mario has left the rebuilding.
Hi every body I am writing a column for Clutch City Online!!!!! I asked Clutch if I could be a column writer like Brian Kagy and Jeff Balk and Clutch and he said that the staff was very full right now but that if I wanted to post something in the BBS then it was Ok with him but that it had to be a BBS thing and not a coloumn, so remember that no matter how good this column is it is not a offical Clutch City column. So I am writing this column. Here is how I think about the league: First, the NBA has annnounecd they are fining the owner of Jazz. His name is Ralph Miller. The NBA says he used abusive langage in insulting Portland player Greg Anfernee. Well all I can say is DUH THAT IS WHY THEY CALL IT ABUSIVE langage!!! Morons! Speaking of the JAzz, I saw Karl Malone throw an elbo at Jerry Sichting last night on TV and then Sichting ran up and shoved him!!! ABOUT TIME!!! Malone is a sucker. Someone should beat him up. Allen Iverson was on the Television this week. I forget witch channel. I think this guy is the nxt Dennis Rodman, he kept saying he was "Miss Understood". Look out Dennis, Allen wants to be women too!!!!!! I wonder why LA did not use Rodman last night. He is disruptive yes, but LA is almost undefeated using him. It was a mistake to not play Rodman last night. Did everyone see the KNicks and Heat fight this weekend. How many times are they going to get away with this fighting stuff withoutthe league taking punitive action against this mulcissitude of garbage? Huh? Right. AS MANY AS THEY WANT!!!! The league is always soft on New York, they are like $20 million over the salary cap which is illegal unless you are the team that comissoner Rod Thorn roots for. BASTARDS!!!!!! Well that is my column, if you like it tell me and I will write some more!! ------------------ Tell the TRUTH or face the DUKE'S CONSQEUNCES!
Miss Understood! I love it! After reading this I was rollin' on the floor. I don't always agree with you Hutz, but your column was great. How about HUTZCITY.com?
I dont get you Will. WHy are you harassing me. Huh? Right. YOu are jealous because I write a colunm and you don't!!! I mean not for Clutch City you don't, you write for that guy Hinckley's magzine. I thouhgt you were sereous about writing for SLATE, I almost quite my job to take that job. Then you come and say I am KEeley. That is funny, Keeley banned me once!!!! HA HA HA!!! So no I am not Keeley. Yes LHutz is a psudonyme I have apodted to hide my true identity, I cannot have my name appearing on this site!!! My wife says LHutz the cartoon man looks like me. Plus did you know he is lawyer. LIKE ME!!! Yes I originaly was someone else. I posted as LegalEagel a long time ago but no one listend to me. Now everyone listens!!!!! I AM A BIG ATTARCTION ON THIS SITE!!!!! HUTZ! HUTZ! HUTZ! HUTZ! ------------------ Tell the TRUTH or face the DUKE'S CONSQEUNCES!
I'd love to take credit but I fear these ravings are from a mind far greater (sic) than mine - we can't match his IP with any other regular posters. Again - I would luuuuuuve to take credit for his work!
Will, Now, you have me curious. I was content on just enjoying LHutz posts, but now I am looking at them more carefully. I never did that before. I just sat back and smiled. Now, I am wondering: If LHutz is a lawyer and supposedly has a practice or practices law, why would he think about quitting his job just at the mere mention of Will's suggestion of writing for Slate? Why would LHutz celebrate the fact that he is popular in this BBS? Is it something that he is looking for intentionally? Is he, like he mentions in his "columm", trying to draw attention to himself like Rodman and Iverson? Could this be Rodman or Iverson? Or a reasonable facsimile? I am seeing a different light. Damn, my head is just full of questions. Will, you have not only peaked my curiosity but you have caused me to join your crusade to find out who the hell LHutz really is! ------------------ Honored to be outargued by the: DUKE, DUKE, DUKE, DUKE, OF TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH, TRUTH.
Will, keeley, Almu. It seems quite a noble mission you are all on now. But I get the feeling that LHutz is just LHutz. I don't think he is anyone else and I don't think he tries to be who he is. He just is that way. While I likewise would like to get to the bottom on the enigma that is LHutz, I think we are already at the bottom and this is all there is.
I'm tellin ya... LHutz=Crackhead Bob Think about it! Huh? Right! ------------------ HOW SWEET IT WAS (AND COULD BE AGAIN)!!!!!!!!!!
keeley you better had not take credit for my writing! Get your own columm!!!! Almu you of all people should no who I really am. I am in the prosess of writing my columm part two. Hey what do you guys think I chould call my colunm. I have some ideas: HUTZ TELLS THE TRUTH! Or what about: THE TRUTH! Or CLUTCHCITY NOTES Or maybe LEGAL BREIFS!! Well there are lots of ideas tell me yours. ------------------ Tell the TRUTH or face the DUKE'S CONSQEUNCES!
FOR EVERYBODY BUT ALMU: I've always thought Will was a genius. Now I know for sure. I think he's dead on with most of his points, and it's what Kagy, Keeley and I have suspected for a while. I can't quite figure it out -- the IP is not similar to any other poster, but I'm sure on the old BBS he posted under a different alias. He's definitely not tod the bod though -- not the same IP and tod's a legit poster. Not any of the admins either (Keeley, Kagy, myself)... unless it's you Will? The Lionel Hutz reference I think 'outlaw' pointed out some time back and it's definitely right on (lawyer on the Simpson's - voice by the late and great Phil Hartman). I kicked him once reluctantly after getting several laughs, then we brought him back and have gotten even more (Doug Cowens was classic!). Either way, I'm getting a good laugh. Hilarious. Simply hilarious. -- Clutch FOR ALMU: I've always thought Will was a genius. Now I know for sure. I think he's dead on with most of his points, and it's what Kagy, Keeley and I have suspected for a while. I can't quite figure it out. The IP is not similar to any other poster. But I'm sure on the old BBS he posted under a different alias. He's definitely not tod the bod though. Not the same IP and tod's a legit poster. Not any of the admins either (Keeley, Kagy, myself)... unless it's you Will? The Lionel Hutz reference I think 'outlaw' pointed out some time back and it's definitely right on (lawyer on the Simpson's - voice by the late and great Phil Hartman). I kicked him once reluctantly after getting several laughs. Then we brought him back and have gotten even more (Doug Cowens was classic!). Either way, I'm getting a good laugh. Hilarious. Simply hilarious. C L U T C H ------------------ Clutch RECLAIM THE ONE-LINE PARAGRAPH Clutch City Online www.clutchcity.net
Great job LHUTZ. You should be the poster child for promoting outcome based education. [This message has been edited by JT (edited April 28, 1999).]
