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Helmets On, I Think We Might Be Tanking

Discussion in 'Houston Rockets: Game Action & Roster Moves' started by Dankstronaut, Jan 2, 2023.

  1. Dankstronaut

    Dankstronaut Way, way out here.
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    It's about to get ugly. 10 W's and 26 L's for the baby Rockets. GaGa and GooGoo have been inconsistent, there's a few dirty diapers in the bin that need to be thrown out and the Nanny isn't seeing improvement. Daddy is drunk and fed up, all Mommy wants is another baby.

    [​IMG]

    The Pistons are already 10-29, Hornets 10-27. As bad as we are trying to play and we're not even the worst?! That's not even the scary part... the scary part is that basically every team not currently in the playoff picture could go sabotage-mode, throw on the emergency brakes and tank for a chance to get Wembanyama. There's a handful of tankers that started early. There's teams like the Magic, Lakers, Bulls that only have 15ish wins that could easily turn it into a tank. Even the Warriors at 19 wins could go shameless (shameful?) and tank the season. If we're serious about maximizing our 14% chance at a golden prospect, even the 3rd worst, shitshow, lowly Rockets will have to go full tank to maintain the slim odds.
    [​IMG]

    I think we have 7 more wins, 7-39 to finish this season. That's how you ensure the greatest odds. Don't mess around and win too many games now. We need one of Commander Silas' 20-game L streaks to enter the new year. Save a couple wins for the end of the season to "show improvement".

    [​IMG]

    How do we get there? The more minutes Nix, Mathews and Fernando play the better. The longer we can keep Gordon playing the most disinterested ball of his career the better. The more of letting silly mistakes continue, rec league structure on offense and defense, freezing out hot hands the better.

    [​IMG]

    Any coward can fight a battle he's sure of winning. Give me Rockets with the pluck to fight when they're sure of losing. Send Nix, Mathews and Fernando in, let Washington, Christopher and Garuba finish the season in G league just to be safe. Tate's lingering injury just became a "season-ending surgery". Bring in some 10-day contracts to finish the season out.

    Porter, Green, Gordon, Smith, Sengun
    Nix, Mathews, Martin, Eason, Fernando

    [​IMG]
     
  2. topfive

    topfive CF OG

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  3. xaos

    xaos Member

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  4. ico4498

    ico4498 Member
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    don't let the cold, cold world get you down.

    Teddy Pendergrass
     
    burlesk likes this.
  5. txtodd

    txtodd Member

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    Amusing post, but I need that number times 2 to get to the Over.
     
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  6. JW86

    JW86 Member

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    NO WAAAYYYYYY
     
    BenjaminChen likes this.
  7. Williamson

    Williamson JOSH CHRISTOPHER ONLY FAN
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    I still think we can go undefeated the rest of the way if only Silas would unleash Josh Christopher.
     
  8. Aruba77

    Aruba77 Contributing Member

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    Ya think?
     
    AroundTheWorld likes this.
  9. cdastros

    cdastros Member

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    If they were tanking EG would have been traded last season.
     
  10. peleincubus

    peleincubus Member

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    Pistons and Hornets have both have had their best player out. One being back and one being out the rest of the year.

    One other think I don’t think the Lakers will be trying lose anytime soon….
     
    BallSoHarden likes this.
  11. glynch

    glynch Contributing Member

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    Tate will go down as the first unoperated ankle sprain to end an entire season. He just plays too hard and smart.
     
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  12. J.R.

    J.R. Member

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    The scary part is that it's just as likely we suck.
    The scary part is that Eric Gordon (many bashing him) is right. There is no improvement, like non.
    The scary part is that we're just as bad as teams like Detroit(missing Cade) or Charlotte(previously missing but now back LaMelo) or teams like OKC(without Chet) are better. Rockets top two picks are healthy.
    The scary part is that some think we'll magically flip the switch next year to "not sucking". (OK, if they sign Harden and whatever, maybe they won't but...)
    The scary part is that there's a greater than 50% chance they DON'T end up with Victor or Scoot.

    "WeLl YoU eXPeCtEd A WiNnInG SeAsOn oR tHe PlaY-In So YoUrE tHe DeLuSiOnaL OnE!"

    The scary part is that I never said that or expected that. ;)
     
  13. Os Trigonum

    Os Trigonum Contributing Member
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  14. YOLO

    YOLO Member

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    it's called fully rebuilding and this is what teams look like starting from scratch
     
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  15. Os Trigonum

    Os Trigonum Contributing Member
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  16. hakeem94

    hakeem94 Member

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  17. hakeem94

    hakeem94 Member

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    no, this is what teams look like when led by incompetent nepotist not caring about basketball, following trends and fades being clueless and low bbiq...
    no this is what teams look like when led by incompetent nepotists
     
  18. Ottomaton

    Ottomaton Contributing Member
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    Most important thing I learned from Jordan Peterson was to not get hopelessly addicted to benzodiazepines and then try to get clean cold turkey in some sketchy Russian private clinic to try and keep it hush-hush.
     
    Xopher, Deckard, peleincubus and 8 others like this.
  19. YOLO

    YOLO Member

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    no it's called fully rebuilding and this is what teams look like starting from scratch
     
    gfab-babyboi and jim1961 like this.
  20. YaoMac09

    YaoMac09 Member

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    Young players trying to secure the bag and establish themselves in the league don't play bad on purpose.

    Front office might be trying to tank ... But we also suck.
     
    groovemachine and Williamson like this.

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