Long story short - I had a solid first date with this girl that my friend set me up with and we ended the night with a kiss and set up a second date for the following week. It was around 12 midnight and the girl had to take a 1 hour train ride home (late night service runs slower). If I drove her, it would have taken me like 1.5 hours to drive her home and back (45 mins each way). Given that she lived pretty far and that it was only our first date, I felt driving her home would have set high expectations for me to sustain in the future. Anyway, she ended up taking the train, which later ran into delays and it ended up taking her 1.5 hours to get home. I told her I was sorry that she had encountered a train delay and that I would make it up to her on the next date. When I called her a few days later to plan out our next date, she didn't pick up or respond to my follow-up text a few days later, probably because she was upset that I didn't drive her home. What do you guys think? Did I really mess up? Or is my date being unreasonable? Personally, I don't mind if she doesn't want to see me anymore but I do think it is rude that she doesn't even bother to respond to my call/text given that we had penciled in our second date. *Edit* And no, she wasn't smoking hot or anything so don't ask for pics. She was slightly above average and was a nice girl. *Edit #2* Oh yeah, she lives at home with her parents so it's not like there was any chance that she would have invited me to stay over. *Edit #3* - She is 27 and not some college kid. The trains are pretty safe in the Bay Area. - She told me to take her to the subway station because she had to get home. It wasn't my idea. I told her I would drive her home if she didn't feel comfortable getting home on the train. But she said she was fine taking the train. In retrospect, that was women speak for, "Drive me home or else no second date!" - Gas money totally was not an issue. I can't believe you guys brought that up. Dinner and drinks were way more expensive than that (yes I paid). Why would I care about $5 in gas? - I didn't drive her home because I was also kinda sleepy (the drive back would not have been easy alone) and I had to pee. - We didn't meet closer to her place because I had no idea she lived so far beforehand, and I live in the city and she lives out in the burbs with nothing to do. - I ended up going home (near the train station) and after I took a piss, I called her to see if she was still at the station so I could pick her up and give her a ride (I felt bad about not driving her) but she had caught an earlier train and left already.
You should've drove her home. She probably would've hooked it up with some road head to show gratitude. Anyways, you blew that one. On to the next.
yes..she's being unreasonable. sorry but it's the first date, she shouldnt be so selfish and expect you to drive 90 minutes. especially since Im sure your car doesnt run on water. by the way, I think distance would soon become a problem between you two.
You did right man. <iframe width="560" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/WM1RChZk1EU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
She lives really far. I agree with Briefly, that distance would cause problems in the future, regardless of if you did or did not do the right thing. I wouldn't have driven her home on a first date with that kind of miles.
Oh yeah, she lives at home with her parents so it's not like there was any chance that she would have invited me to stay over. She works near where I work/live and her normal train commute is only 40 minutes (non-late night schedule).
Me taking public transit, night services kinda blow so can understand wanting a ride. But I know lengthy trips just comes with the territory with public transit. I wouldnt expect my date to "save" me from that. Its different with women I guess. They want to have burdens lessened and be whisked off their feet. Probably less focus on the "logistics" of it.
If there's a next time like that with somebody, maybe its not cool for you but perhaps pick a date spot closer to where she lives so she doesnt have to take longer communtes than she needs to? Then again if she's out in Nowheresville where no goes, and you're in the happening city where the good spots are, she's just screwed I guess.
Seems like a lose-lose situation either way. Don't beat yourself up too much over the decision. I think you did the right thing.
I'm glad that I don't worry about crap like this anymore. Yes, I am single and damn proud of it. I got other problems to worry about in my life besides if some chick is mad because I didn't give her a ride home to her 1.5 to 2 hour away house, lol. I guess I am belittling your situation, op. But I agree you did the right thing. Try to find someone who lives closer to you.
Maybe she hooked up with SCK, he has a nice ride and is a 6'3 Latino with Dirk hair. You messed up dude.
I would not take a date, unless I am willing to drive her home. A young girl that still leaves with his parents. I am guessing she is a teenager or early 20s. She would be a prime target for a rapist at 1:30 AM(1.5 trip at midnight). This young girl gets off the train, and somebody could follow her, rape her, and throw her in the dumpster. Even if the date ended up bad, I would still drive her home for security. I always watch my date enter the door, before I drive off.
