As some know, I’ve been battling stage 4 cancer. While physically I’ve been improving, last scans showed no signs of cancer, mentally I’m going downhill.The meds I have to take make me more sick than the damn disease and until medical science advances I will always have to take them. it makes no sense. I’m up for my second promotion since being diagnosed, I have an amazing support network - wife family work etc, and yet I still see myself spiraling downhill. I have a psychologist and psychiatrist, I’ve quit drinking, I’ve picked up new hobbies, even won money in a pro-am pickleball tournament the other day, and yet I can’t kick this. I know there are others in this group that have been through similar situations. What can be done to feel normal again? This hits me every few months and it’s ****ing terrible.
I'm really sorry to hear this. I wish the Rockets could make you feel better...hopefully starting next season. Great news that scans show no signs of cancer. I hope it stays that way, and eventually you can come off the meds which seem to drag you down. You have always been a poster with a good sense of humour. I hope you can get through this phase and will soon be happy again.
I want to point out the power of this network. While I’ve never met Xero, we’ve chatted many times, and he gave me a shout to get me to calm down. I appreciate everyone’s input, and can’t thank @Xerobull enough for his kindness to chat with me while I was down.
A good way to remember it's all a construct in one's mind is by remembering how God damned hilarious it all is! Don't need to know how to know that you will get through it. ((()))
I think the new south park episodes have been pretty hilarious if you haven't caught them yet, on HBO.
What I was trying to say was that I have always been enjoying @CCorn's posts, and that I hope that he can get back to his positive spirit to help him through the situation. Obviously, I didn't mean to say that anything is hilarious about this.
I've found gardening and learning about Mycology to be therapeutic. There is something to caring for plants from seed to maturation and witnessing their growth cycle over the course of a season. You confront death frequently gardening but in a way that makes you appreciate it's cyclical and just one part of life. Chronic pain be it from medication to treat the disease or the actual disease itself is tough on anyone's mental health and I don't think you having a breakdown is a sign of losing it. It's just the total accumulation of everything going on in your life that you're trying to express which I'm sure probably feels overwhelming at times. If anything, I'd say to cut yourself some slack considering you are managing a marriage, a career, bills, friendships and other relationships on top of managing a potentially terminal illness you gotta be mindful of for the rest of your life. I've no doubt your experiences raises questions of personal meaning and I'm sure other questions you probably haven't found the vocabulary to express in a way that feels healthy to you. Hang in there, reach out to people you love and love you, keep doing your best and don't stop trying. I don't know you IRL but I do enjoy your posts and find a lot of your humor relatable. You strike me as a good man.
Damn brother sorry to hear this. When did you find it? What symptoms where you having? This is the thing that pisses me off. Healthcare is failing us in early detection. FDA is also failing us with so many bs chemicals they allow.
Very sorry to hear this, man. Extremely glad that your scans showed as clear. Keep leaning on your sense of humor and new adventures. Glad to hear you have a great support network. I've mentioned this before in a couple places, but I'm in the cancer treatment fields. I'm just a peon, and have no power, but feel free to message me through the board if you ever need to talk. Hang in there.
I finally was able to sleep. First time in a couple of days. My wife is out of town, so not having my support network got to me this week. Ended up calling the crisis line. And when an advocate came to my place, she asked if there was anything in the house I could harm myself with. Instead of being serious I decided to make a joke. “Well I live on the water but I have to be honest I’m way too buoyant to drown myself”. She started laughing her ass off and then spent the next few minutes apologizing lol. Anyways, I now have 15 baby sitters - parents and friends, not letting me out of their site. Mentally I’m fine again. But **** I went off the rails. Thank you everyone who responded to this. Great network here on CF.
Damn really sorry to hear that. Unfortunately I have no advice I can give you on the medical side. From the mental side having a good support network is very important and it sounds like you’ve got a good one with family and friends. I don’t know what things you have a passion about but that can really help. As another poster mentioned gardening could be one. Music , particularly playing music could be another. Self improvement and finding ways to broaden your horizons is always good. Studying things like philosophy and history help me. I don’t know how old you are but mentoring and helping young people also help. I love coaching Judo but also helping interns and people staring out in my field. From a spiritual standpoint I’m a believer in the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and the first truth is that all of existence is suffering and while that might seem depressing at first it puts into perspective it helps me when I feel down and alone that it is our nature to feel things like pain and sorrow. From there we can understand that suffering is created by thought and we can control and move beyond our thoughts. Hope that helps.
Sorry to hear about this @CCorn. I never know what to say when someone is going through such a hard time because 1) I'm usually very uninformed on their particular issue and thus unsuited to offer any positive advice; and 2) I'm a moron in general. But with those two caveats, I'll just say that I hope things get better for you and that your amazing support network continues their amazing work. In the meantime, iirc, you have a bidet. That always makes things better. I ate some of those new cinnamon Cheerios the other day and had the runs for the next 8 hours or so. It sucked, but the bidet made it a little better. So if you ever need to make your bad **** a little better, just use the bidet.
That's beautiful man. I'm sorry for the situation you are going through. Life can definitely be a b****. There is a lot to be said for that many people having your back, some don't have anyone, so you are at least covered from that end. I'm not sure what else to say man, but lots of love and hope to meet you some day at a game and have a drink of water since you aren't drinking beer. Sending my positive vibes your way.
