You'd think having been divorced I'd know how to properly distance myself and handle breakups better by now but I don't. I had been dating a girl for roughly 14 months now. Things had been going pretty good and I could see she and I eventually getting married and starting a family. We weren't that serious at this point but the way things were going between us, it was looking like that was a possibility. Monday night she came over to my place though and said she wanted to break up and wasn't sure if she was even making the right decision. She said she wishes she met me later in her life and could see kids and settling down with me. She has plans to travel to Australia though meanwhile I'm in the process of house hunting in the Austin area. I have a decent job but nothing worth staying in Austin for and I'd like to travel myself. I had offered to go with her if separation was the reason for the break up and she still didn't take me up on the offer. It's now at the point where she says she needs a few days. I was in complete shock on Monday over the break up and didn't have a whole lot to say. I had a day to collect my thoughts and met up with her last night to get what I wanted off my chest which was basically I was in shock, pain and am in a bad situation with her saying she needed a few days. I basically said it doesn't give me closure to move on and that it was in bad taste. I had said that in the past I had thoughts of breaking up before but slept on it first to make sure it wasn't just a passing thought and was truly something I wanted to do so I wouldn't put her in the situation she put me in, which is saying I need a few days. I don't think she's interested in other people if that's what I'm going to hear in reply. For what its worth she's 24 and I'm 28. We're not fighting or anything right now. We did meet up for drinks last night to talk some more. I did tell her if she's talking to me in hopes of maintaining a friendship I can't do that right now and that it isn't fair to me and that I'd need time to get over her before even fathoming a friendship and that it's better we just stop talking. And we're still talking so, I don't quite know how I feel. I'm also in a weird situation where I didn't really have hardly any friends before I met her. I'm a huge introvert and she's an extrovert. My friends are her friends through her mostly. When they text us to go out they text her assuming I'm going to tag along with her to places. I'm kind of short on people to stay busy with which sucks since I don't want this breakup to consume my thoughts and could use some company. I wish I could say I'm not torn up about this but I am as unmanly as that sounds.
She's not interested in other people. She's already been with other people. Plenty of poon in the sea my friend. Take a couple weeks to burn her pictures, play an acoustic guitar, cry it out, threaten her via text, etc. Then go on a new c*nt hunt.
I know that feeling bro. You feel she's the only one. You can't live without her.blah blah. Truth is, there's many fish better than her. You won't know cuz you love her. Good riddance. You don't need somebody that's playing with you. She's not ready for you? Did you propose? She's not 15 for this bs.
She's only 24. Not ready to settle down probably. Maybe give her space to go on the trip? Not really sure.
A wise man said, you wanna be sad ****, **** that ****. Go out **** b****es go to the gym. Cuz that we sick ***** do.
No proposal. I don't feel like she's the only one. I'm more of the mindset that there's many different people out there you can find great compatibility with. I just thought she was one of them. I would like to get back together but I also am lonely. I got no bros to help get me through **** like this. It sucks.
I love her a lot. It's not a matter of convenience. Was just saying I don't feel like there's only one person out there for everybody.
Love how this is the immediate response on here in these situations. Could be she's young and just doesn't know what she wants, especially since she's about to travel. She probably doesn't know who she is and doesn't want to be "tied down" while discovering the world and herself. There could be MANY reasons, but not every person is a cold-blooded, mindless cheater or even thinking of being with someone else/others. Give me a break. The guy is already going through a lot emotionally, no need to fu** with his head like that. Keep strong, London. It's tough but just find some sort of support system. I, like you (when i was going through a divorce) didn't have many friends to go to. But, as tough as it is, you need to think about you and yourself only right now. Break out of your mold, do some things you've wanted to do and couldn't (for whatever reason) or things that are not your norm. Break from your shell a little bit. Invest in yourself. When I went through a breakup earlier this year, I went on a weekend getaway on my own and I joined a gym and got personal training. Find YOUR happiness right now and moving forward. Good luck brother.
she's 24. i'm two years older than her and i can't see myself settling down for another decade or so. you should try to branch out more socially and pick up some hobbies. there needs to be balance in a relationship. when it ends, you need your "bros" as a support system. sounds like it just ran its course. cut her off and move on with your life.
You read this completely wrong. She wanted to break up with you because she had lost interest in you not because of her impending trip or your house hunting. She clearly wants to distance herself from you to a certain extent and then you asked if she wants you to go with her. Let me say this, if a girl really wants to be with you. She wouldn't say these kind of things. Think about it. If she wants to be with you thought it was a possibility she could lose you to another female while she's in Australia would she behave this way? If a girl really wants to be with you she'll MAKE her self available to you. Girls do this kind of behavior, not men. You don't need to explain your thoughts, feelings, etc to her. Infact that'll just make you less interesting and more predictable. You just lost whatever tiny bit of mystique or intrigue you had left. You would have been better served just ceasing all contact with her immediately. Edit:: Another thing, she doesn't owe you ANYTHING in terms of giving you closer or being considerate of your feelings. Saying things like "it was in bad taste" makes you sound whiny. Not exactly the characteristic of a strong man. Actually in her woman's mind, she is probably thinking she IS doing you a favor by being honest and breaking up with you (since she knows her feelings are not the same). When women say "they need a few days" 99.9% of times they've already thought about it for "a few days" and this is just a breakup. This is just woman-speak for "I'm not into you anymore".
This. Also, you gotta find a passion in life outside of relationships if you don't already. Ideally in your career since that's where most of your time is spent, but it can also be hobbies, helping others (charitable giving, etc), or whatever else makes you happy and gives you purpose. Don't let relationships be the only driving force behind your happiness (it also makes you more desirable IMO when you have other things to devote your life to besides just love).
Go straight to West 6th and pick up some strange. I prefer The Ranch, Molotov's, Kung Fu Saloon, and Key Bar. Or if you want to get old school, head over to Spill or Aquarium on dirty 6th and pick up some trashy 21-22 year olds.
This truth you speak of is a delusion when there's no facts behind it. Again, just because she (or any woman) wants to break it off doesn't automatically mean she's been with another guy(s). Let him deal with a tough breakup as is and stop filling his head with unnecessary nonsense that would just make it all the more worse.
Been in all these types of situations before... best thing you can do is get a hobby or start getting yourself in shape(if you aren't already) and start going out. No point in crying over someone that isn't interested in you anymore. Girls these day's dont know what the hell they want even if you are the best for them. Sorry that it didn't work out for you buddy but it's for the best. Like someone else said there are PLENTLY of other women out there.
I guess that's more my issue. I was separated from my ex-wife back in 2010. She wouldn't help with the divorce process and it dragged on far longer than it needed to. I dated afterwards. I slept around and I felt empty still. I did take far better care of myself as well. I got in probably the best shape of my life and was doing all sorts of charitable activities hoping to branch out and meet people. I did, but no real connection and I didn't find anything I was really passionate about. This isn't just dating women. I mean just making friends in general and wanting to hang out. I met this girl though and there was an immediate connection I hadn't felt since my ex. I actually wanted to go out and do things and didn't do so out of obligation or because its what divorced people do to try and stay busy and branch out. I dunno. She got me out of my shell and that's something that's really tough to do. Even my ex-wife took the time to e-mail me and tell me I look much better and have life in my eyes since I met this girl. I know its not the end of the world and there are plenty of fish in the sea. I do need to branch out and I do agree about finding a passion other than a relationship. I have tried. I will continue to I suppose.
