I did nothing to deserve my devastatingly good looks, my keen intellect, and my astounding artistic abilities. Alas, it was merely my incredible genes.
Everyone who knows me thinks I'm a terrible liar -- it is a big joke among my family and friends how bad I am at it. But, in truth, I'm an awesome liar, and my trick is making people think I'm a bad one so they don't suspect me when I actually am lying..... I rarely use this btw....but I definitely keep it as an ace up the sleeve. __________________________ OK, NOW GIB WIMBY!!!
In high school I was friends with someone my cousin had beef with. One day 3 girls wanted to hang out with the 3 of us, so they put their differences aside for the greater good. We all hung out at the other guy's parents house. I never had any issues with him whatsoever, and he even let me use his bed so I could hook up with this girl. After I was done I was looking for a restroom downstairs and walked into the laundry room. He had just finished washing a load of white collared shirts he was required to wear for school. For no reason at all I decided to get revenge for my cousin and I pissed all over his clean clothes, then went home.
I let the cat outside of the house because he kept pissing and ******** on everything, and told the family I took him to an Old Folks Home. That ****er ran down the street and I laughed. Please forgive me Dear Lord, and let us get Wemby.
I've probably spent at least 70% of all of my time in work at any job I've ever had since I was 14 high as a mother****er on weed. I'm 40 soon and have been in management positions for most of the last 20 years.
I confess that whoever we end up drafting I’ll have convinced myself by the end of the night that he’s the best prospect in the class.