[Premium Thread] So recently I was at an industry conference hosted by a financial institution. These financial institutions love to host successful industrialists like myself, as they jockey for position in hopes of working with The_Conquistador in the future (very lucrative). A golf outing was part of the event. As we are loading up the bus to go play golf, an African American man offers to carry my golf clubs and store them in the luggage storage area underneath the bus. I oblige and hand him my clubs. He puts them in the luggage storage area and I then tip him 5 dollars. He then gives me a look as though I just insulted his manhood, ethnicity, children, and culture. I do not appreciate being looked at in this manner and he narrowly avoided a stern verbal reprimand. I'm thinking that I just gave a very generous tip for a service that was really unnecessary (I am quite fit physically and fully capable of stowing my clubs). Well, come to find out, he was not a bellman, but rather an employee of the financial institution who was volunteering that day as a part of organizing the golf outing. I had no way of knowing this! He didn't have on any badge or clarifying clothing that signified he was a banker and this was at a hotel where bellmen (many of whom happened to be black) were offering the same service. Those bellmen would be upset if I didn't tip them. Did I do something wrong here?? Has anyone else ever found themselves in a similar position? You try to do something nice and people get insulted! GOOD DAY
If you are going to offend someone, offending them with your excessive generosity is always preferable to offending them in some sort of exploitative or abusive way. Did he give you the five dollars back? If not, then I definitely would not give it another thought.
Guess you stepped in it, Trader _ J. Ever see the movie Go? It has a great ensemble cast that's involved in a series of connected episodes. One of the characters, Taye Diggs, goes to Vegas with some friends and he's wearing a sport coat that's an odd color, one he's quite proud of. Diggs goes to the men's room, finishes washing up, and is checking himself out in the mirror when a guy walks by and drops a bill on the counter next to him. At first he's confused, then it dawns on him that the fellow thinks he's the "washroom attendant," and it's a tip. He immediately gets pissed off and turns to hand the bill back to him, but can do nothing because said guy is already out the door and into the bustling casino. Diggs is left "holding the bill," you might say. It's a great scene and the first thing I thought of when I read your OP. If you haven't seen the flick, you should. It's terrific. If you did anything wrong, it was not paying better attention to your surroundings. If you had, you might have noticed that the gentleman wasn't an employee of the establishment. That he was "African American" shouldn't have been mentioned by you, in my opinion. What difference does it make? Image below. Taye Diggs is on the left.
Trade Jorge's posting habits are bizarre. That being said, If I helped someone with something and they tried to tip me assuming I worked at some sort of establishment hotel/country club/ etc.. I wouldn't be offended I'd just tell them their mistaken, explain the situation and carry on with my life... no big deal.
One time i didn't tip a white valet guy at a club when i got there. I usually tipped when the car is picked up like normal. He looked at me funny. The next day i realized my book of CDs missing. This was 2001. The valet services post they arent responsible for stolen property which is ridiculous
I've work charity tournaments at a Country Club for 20 years in exchange for playing privileges. We do bag drops and courtesy cart rides in from the lot. We are volunteer workers so we generally don't accept tips. Since most of our tournaments benefit some charity I tell them, no thanks just contribute to the charity. The point is, at a non-charity event with paid employees providing the service, tips would be appreciated by the minimum wage staff, so your confusion was not your faux pas. The person in question probably was personally offended by your assumption he was service staff instead of a host, and yes in 2019 his race was a part of the his defensiveness. He could have played it off with humor and even taken your money with something like "I'll open your account " but you can't be always responsible for the perception' and reaction from other people. He may have a whole lifetime behind it. If you honestly mean well, it's the other guys problem. The same confusion happens to me, an old white guy, all the time though.
Sorry, Trader Jorgecito, no credibility without a picture of your 1040, I suspect he is a millennial who finally got through his last Ayn Rand novel. BTW a 1040 refers to an IRS tax document.