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Please help with editing!

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by triplet, Sep 6, 2005.

  1. triplet

    triplet Member

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    I was writing the "Acknowledgements" part of my dissertation. I must submit the draft to the committee by tomorrow. How do you think the following paragraph in terms of wording and grammar?


    "First of all, I would like to thank my advisor, Professor XXXX, for his guidance, support and encouragement. He has always been inspiring and thoughtful in science, patient and progressive as a mentor, caring and considerate as a friend, and ultimately influential as a role model of an all-around human being."

    Obviously I am not a native English speaker, Thanks to all who put up your thoughts and suggestions!
     
    #1 triplet, Sep 6, 2005
  2. Deckard

    Deckard Blade Runner
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    "First of all, I would like to thank my advisor, Professor XXXX, for his guidance, support and encouragement. He has always been inspiring and thoughtful in science, patient and progressive as a mentor, as well as caring and considerate as a friend."


    Good luck. That's how I would edit what you showed me. :)
     
    #2 Deckard, Sep 6, 2005
  3. triplet

    triplet Member

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    Thank you Deckard!

    It's not that I want to pile up sweet words, but my advisor has truly been a role-model for me, in many different aspects. How do I express this?
     
    #3 triplet, Sep 6, 2005
  4. AroundTheWorld

    AroundTheWorld Member

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    I would suggest this:

    "my advisor has truly been a role-model for me, in many different aspects."
     
    #4 AroundTheWorld, Sep 6, 2005
  5. triplet

    triplet Member

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    Thank you Sir!

    What is your first language, German or English? :)
     
    #5 triplet, Sep 6, 2005
  6. AroundTheWorld

    AroundTheWorld Member

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    German...
     
    #6 AroundTheWorld, Sep 6, 2005
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