Bricklayers top 50

Here is one funny topic for summer days. It is written by the guy who is a moderator on Kings forum.

My Top 50 Most Valuable Players
That last Top 50 list was so good, that I decided I would post my own. So here it is:

The 50 MOST VALUABLE PLAYERS IN THE NBA
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(in alphabetical order)

1)Kenny Anderson – "led" his team all the way to the ECF last year, so must be good
2)Tariq Abdul-Wahad – lead a revolt against his own coach while shooting under 40%. Gotta love a player with guts.
3)John Amaechi – Hey! The Lakers offered him a big deal a couple of years ago to back up Shaq. And he turned them down.
4)Nick Anderson – We should get him back.
5)Vin Baker – battling Shawn Kemp for the most lbs per dollar award.
6)Ruben Boumtje-Boumtje – You just gotta have somebody named Boumtje-Boumtje on your team.
7)Shawn Bradley – has made every list of this kind in history.
8 )Chucky Brown – hey, the man carries his own curse.
9)Kelvin Cato – played more games than Mo Taylor last year.
10)Calbert Cheaney – was once a high-teens scorer. Personally I think he still has it.
11)Chris Childs – 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer…
12)Mateen Cleaves – world’s greatest cheerleader. Will it violate the CBA if we make him wear a skirt?
13)Derrick Coleman – the true inspiration for this list.
14)Austin Croshere – really beat up on the Lakers in the playoffs three years ago.
15)John Crotty – Mr. Fundamental.
16)Vonteego Cummings – has no discernible skills, but still in the league. That takes talent.
17)Chris Dudley – graduated from an Ivy league school.
18 )Howard Eisley – would be a star if he wasn’t trapped behind Stockt…er…Franci…er…Charlie Ward.
19)Evan Eschmeyer – achieved the near impossible last year when he managed to sneak BEHIND Shawn Bradley on the depth chart.
20)Rick Fox – hey, he’s a Laker right? And they won the championship. Bling. Bling.
21)Tyrone Hill – reportedly offered a part in Grumpiest Old Men now that Jack Lemmon has passed
22)Fred Hoiberg – they don’t call him "the Mayor" for nothing. Made the All-Defensive team in a really bad computer basketball game I played.
23)Juwann Howard – Has a very impressive contract.
24)Larry Hughes – Has "do not have a clue" stamped on his forehead, and people STILL want him.
25)Lindsey Hunter – Achieved something unique last year – only man in history unable to figure out how to "go spot up"
26)Shawn Kemp – its gut to gut between he and Baker. Coke addiction may give him edge however.
27)Travis Knight – no less a talent evaluator than Rick Pitino thought this guy was worth a $27(?) million dollar contract
28 )Rusty LaRue – kicked our *** one game last year. Let’s sign him.
29)Christian Laettner -- only player in history to be detested by every single human being he has made contact with.
30)Stephon Marbury – odd that his teams keep on losing. I’m sure its got nothing to do with Steph, however.
31)Jelani McCoy – Lakers almost traded him to the Best Damn Sports Show to get John Salley back.
32)Sam Mitchell – great bargain as I’m fairly sure that you can subtract the amount of social security checks received from a player’s contract
33)Eric Montross – has taken the torch of the Great White Stiff from Joe Kleine, and run with it (in a manner of speaking).
34)Lamond Murray – rumor has it that he hit it off with an Al-Quaeda member last year, so he fell behind Laetnner. Still impressively disliked however.
35)Charles Oakley – can’t play anymore, but excels at b**** slapping people (no offense ladies) and talking smack
36)Greg Ostertag – picture Ostertag last year. Now remove a kidney. Scary.
37)Ruben Patterson – has to register with the local police department when coming to town. What a badass.
38 )Vitaly Potapenko – the "Ukraine Train". Saved Seattle from Vin’s contract.
39)Brent Price – sings a mean national anthem.
40)Zach Randolph – somebody told me he was good.
41)Glen Rice – would probably have averaged 25ppg game last year, but was learning a new offense
42)Mitch Richmond – poor Mitch
43)Deshawn Stevensen – one day hopes to be like his idol, Patterson.
44)Mo Taylor – Despite season-ending injury, Rockets didn’t notice any fall off in his rebounding last year
45)Jake Tsakalidis – player on the rise – threatening to take the Joe Kleine award from Montross.
46)Antoine Walker – for three!
47)Rasheed Wallace – Hi, I’m insane.
48 )Charlie Ward – has been offered the chance to take over for Pat Robertson once his playing days are over
49)Jason Williams – but, look at all that talent!
50)Kevin Willis -- cherished for his first-hand stories of the Trojan War. Rumor has it that his arms have shrunk over the centuries from repeated washing.