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Triscuit lovers: Nabisco is perfecting the Quadriscuit

Discussion in 'BBS Hangout' started by heypartner, Dec 2, 2016.

  1. heypartner

    heypartner Member

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    My favorite cracker in the news!

    Nabisco Snack Physicists Develop Highly Unstable Quadriscuits

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    OAK RIDGE, TN—Snack physicists at Nabisco Labs announced Friday the first successful synthesis of a Quadriscuit cracker, a salty treat long postulated by the theoretical models of food scientists but never confirmed by experiment until now.

    “At the moment, this hyperwafer can only exist for six milliseconds in a precisely calibrated field of magnetic energy, positrons, roasted garlic, and beta particles,” lab chief Dr. Paul Ellison told reporters at a press conference outside Nabisco’s $200 million seven-whole-grain accelerator. “However, by bombarding the cracker with neutrons until it reaches critical levels of zestiness and crunchability, we believe we can one day develop a chemically stable and edible Quadriscuit. Needless to say, such an irresistibly tasty breakthrough could upend everything we thought we knew about snacking.”

    Ellison added that the snack’s existence cannot be explained by classical Fig Newtonian physics.

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    #1 heypartner, Dec 2, 2016
  2. Buck Turgidson

    Buck Turgidson Member

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    Triscuits, goldfish crackers and peanut M&Ms are what I imagine crack addicts jones for.
     
    #2 Buck Turgidson, Dec 2, 2016
  3. Os Trigonum

    Os Trigonum Okogie Only Fan
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    oddly, I happen to know a bit of Triscuit history. They were baked in Niagara Falls, NY, for almost a hundred years, until the plant closed in 2001. Their original marketing slogan was "Baked By Electricity." So clearly this newest development is right in keeping with the proud heritage of the Triscuit product line.

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    #3 Os Trigonum, Dec 2, 2016
    heypartner likes this.
  4. KingCheetah

    KingCheetah Atomic Playboy

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    #4 KingCheetah, Dec 2, 2016
    studogg likes this.
  5. RocketWalta

    RocketWalta Member

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    I think they just jones for crack. You might be close with the peanut M&Ms though.

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    #5 RocketWalta, Dec 3, 2016
    heypartner likes this.
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