I haven't been on Clutchfans much so I'm sorry I missed this but am much more sorry to hear about your father passing away. I hope you've had the chance to heal and look back with love and appreciation for your father while moving forward with your life.
Yesterday was the one month mark of Dad's passing. It was a pretty uneventful day. I wanted to have a memorial bbq with all my family but the out-of-towners stayed out of town and my sister has picked up a cold, so we all spent the day with our own families. I spent time with one of my son's at Dad's grave. I've thought a lot about what Dad would want for us and I know he would not want us mourning him. I can hear him telling me, "Mijo, it's ok. Go do what you have to do. Don't worry." He would tell me that while he was in PCU and I was beside him and he wanted me to go home and rest. He would tell me that when I could not come over to visit for whatever reason. He wanted us to be happy. Talking to him at his grave yesterday, I felt less pain and had fewer tears. I still feel the loss and I miss him dearly, but I'm starting to adjust to him not being here. I was able to go out to dinner, a movie, and a bar to listen to some music for the first time Saturday night. Of course, I had Dad's drink all night, and I could only take it until about 1 a.m., but that's something I hadn't done at all. I also trimmed my beard last night...seems uneventful, but I grew it the whole time Dad was in the hospital. The plan was to grow it with Dad and trim it down when he got out. I want to thank all of you again for your kind words and prayers. Reading back through this thread brings some peace to me. I hope everyone dealing with loss is healing as well. Have a great day CF.
I just got a call from one of my coaching buddies that my team picture was in. At first I didn't want it. I don't want to look at that picture and remember that day. We took team pictures the day that Dad checked into the hospital. Dad always supported me and went to as many of my games as he could. This is my last team, my last district championship, and my last team picture. I think I'm going to leave the picture at Dad's grave along with my coaching whistle.
Was your dad a coach too? I wrote about this during the Stros' World Series run that sports are both of the moment but also transcend the moment and become a repository of memory. I know talking to my own students about our sport (Judo) and how I did when I was their age really helps me to relate to them and them to me. I'm glad to hear you got to share that last moment with your dad.
No, he wasn't a coach, but he always kept up with my teams and went to as many games as he could. I'm a little down that he can't see my games from the best seat in the house, and the thoughthad crossed my mind to come back for one more run, but Dad knew this was my last season and he was happy with my decision. I'll miss telling him about my games.
I was cleaning around in the barndominium yesterday and found the team picture of our '86 Memorial Ashford Little League Championship team. Dad and my other brother's Dad were the coaches. Then I found the box of hats. I now have a MALL All Star hat hanging in my bedroom. We were damn good, but we didn't quite make it to Williamsport. eta: I don't know how my folks did it, but they were at every sporting event I played in (soccer/baseball/basketball/football) from the age of 5 to 18. And I had a brother 4 years younger and they did the same for him. God bless them.
It's been one year today since I lost my Dad. I just wanted to thank all my CF brothers that offered condolences, thoughts, prayers, and comforting words. You honestly helped me through my biggest loss. Things have returned to what I would say is normal in life, but I have my Dad with me always. In my thoughts, in my memories, and in my heart. Dad's memorial church service was this past Sunday and even though my youngest sister couldn't make it, it was nice getting together with my family. Time does heal the pain, but there are still times when I really feel his loss. I hope all of you dealing with loss have healed as well.
