Captains Log: Stardate: 6051. Had trouble sleeping last night. My Hiatal hernia is acting up. The Ship is drafty and damp. I complain but nobody listens. Anyway, FFB first journal entry. I bring this to me because I will look back later & love it. I talked to a robot Elvis for 3 hours tonight. Kinda had to because I'm getting really bad at shotgunning women to come out and meet me. If more than one shows up, you're kinda screwed. Also met a flight attendant on tinder. She seems pretty hot. Works for the islanders so I'll have to meet her in Dallas on the 9th, but I've never had in & out and she looks worthy of the trip. And then we have robot elvis girl and two other girls I've known for well over a decade. One in Atascocita, one in Kemah & one nearish around SW Houston. Don't get me wrong. I like them all but it does get tiring trying to figure out which day to assign to which broad.
I heard a rumor that Fatty got his hernia playing naked twister with some chicks from Cirque Du Soleil. True story.