I know that many of you believed that my first attempt was insincere and that means no matter the intent, it missed the mark, so let's try this again with a less off the cuff version. I’m truly sorry that I said inappropriate things out of anger. There was no excuse for doing so, it was a mistake that won’t be repeated. Targeting someone’s family in an argument is simply unacceptable, and I know that. The insults I made towards Granville and his son were completely out of line and should have never happened. No matter how this ends, I want him and his family to know that I am sorry. Since I said those things, I know that I can never truly take them back. The only thing I can do is acknowledge my wrong doing and make amends to the board by never repeating those reprehensible actions. Some value words, I value actions more. To me a real apology is when someone proves that they mean it with change. I understand that many people are angry right now, and I accept that, over time I hope that anger from aggrieved parties will fade into forgiveness. If what I said out of anger is unforgivable, I’ll understand that too, but this, followed by my future actions, is my effort to make up for what happened in the only way I know how.
@Granville may forgive, but may also never forget. Probably won't forgive though, who are we kidding. You insulted his son lmao I would have brought down the anger of 5000 burning infernos on yo ass. We will see if your actions maintain the value to in these words above down the line. I have my doubts. Reputation means a lot/can be everything, and well... I probably trust the weekly Nigerian prince email more than your word. But: this is the first step we were all expecting to see, let us agree to that. Full apology with no beating around the bush. How does it feel? It is still a shame it took a "Take 2" to get it right. This isn't the NFL and Roger Goodell. "Gotta get it right!" I've done it before: look up my Lady Gaga rape thread. Ain't hard sweetie. Realize you have a short leash, and thank your lucky stars @Clutch is more forgiving than 99% of people on this planet. Too forgiving. How many other banned users for ole Bobby? What you smoking Clutch? Just reset the whole thing. But idk tho, dyor. This is like trading a poo-poo platter for the corpse of Antoine Walker. Rather eat the poo. Seems like this is coming to a conclusion for some, but I have pulled my monetary support from this site over this controversy. Word is the lurkers union is up in arms still about this.
The first step, that’s always good. Now for the hard part you may not wanna listen to, but signed up for when you decided to post vulgarity that ugly, and for your behavior that then ensued. I don’t know any functioning kids or adults that would deliberately sniff out an insult like that and fire off, secondly you had an entire thread dedicated to apologizing after the incident. You didn’t. Then you had an entire 2 weeks and a subsequent thread, and you didn’t. Think about kindergarteners a fraction of your age that show more restraint and even the moral courage to apologize after. You’re right, actions do speak louder than words and you need to take a good look at yourself and think about what has actually changed up there when you finally decided to type this out. Was it something? Was it nothing? Even so, glance around the unanimous disdain for your return and how you made others beyond Granville feel and think about how your behavior affected/affects them. This isn’t a freeway you’re the only car on. A lot of people were banned because that’s how strongly they felt, with one or two also probably regretting how they handled it—I hope clutch shows them the same mercy he showed you when you pushed decency to the brink. If Bobby can be given another chance they should also be given one —but I know this isn’t my site or my rules, just my wish and the wish of many other long time members I’m sure. I’m with @jbasket , it’s hard to take your word when people had to be outraged to the point they got banned and this apology had to be begged for. This is the first incident on this site where something has actually left a bad taste in my mouth. I don’t think anybody else, even the people that strongly dislike me should leave, but this was the first time I felt that way. There’s always a first step, only the party you wronged can decide whether it’s in the right direction. This isn’t my site nor are these my rules, but once again,I really hope the individuals that were banned in an emotional state can Return and we can turn the clock back.
Bobby, I know it was hard for you to write that but it doesn't change what you did and that when giving a second chance you took a shot at me by dragging my son in once more. I have no idea why Clutch let you come back after you spewed that level of hate speech at me and my family. You should be ashamed of yourself. I sat in court watching a man get 15 years in prison for molesting my son. I forgive that man now because he paid his debt. You are trying to pay a debt to get to post on a message board. You went to Clutch to apologize for what you said about MY son. You didn't seek me out. You were worried about getting to post here not the awful words that infuriated many. You've got a long way to go before I believe you're legit. @Clutch I still don't believe you'd give someone a second chance actually a third chance for saying: " It's no wonder you ended up with a N Word Kid" "you keep coming back with this N Word dribble. It's honestly sad, I see where your kid gets it" There are many more that I can quote over several threads. And I damn sure don't think so if hate speech were used against your own children. I'd like to see how you address what many believe is now a double standard. Some people wound up banned for being outraged at recent events. I don't know the details of why everyone was banned over the past few days but I know several were extremely unhappy that you gave Bobby a second chance to use my son to insult me once more.
I will be curious to revisit this in a month/year etc. By all appearances a well thought out, sincere apology, but I can't decide if you are truly remorseful and intent on making a personal change, or just very skillfully telling people what they want to hear. You clearly have a solid measure of intelligence, which makes what you said all the more hurtful. I am truly hoping a lesson was learned and you are starting a new chapter in your life. Good luck.
Those details concerning why others were banned are not insignificant. At all. Not to detract from all this but perhaps something you should look into in case you’re still feeling incredibly indignant that a few of your supporters got the boot.
Well you know, that's pretty much exactly what you're doing. like completely. Not to call out your guise of helpful criticism, but perhaps not being a dick to Granville (in a thread he disclosed why this hurt him so much) is something you can look into in case you're wondering why you got this response. Ill timed man.
The best way would be leaving it all to Clutch and the mods and not having started that mob/vigilante stuff that was going on, and excessive badgering. Nobody liked what we saw there, but we (accept) and move on. It's very tough for adults to really change who they are, it remains to be seen. PS: Also, Granville breh, we all know what kind of Interweb persona 'The Great' is and he did wrong your boy severely. But mentioning your kid who is innocent and got nothing to do with this scuffle in every post, isn't a helpful solution either. I cannot endorse involving an innocent 3rd party in a D&D conversation in the first place. And we look for solutions rather than rehashing the past again and again.
Clutch needs to show a sincere effort to equally protect the dignity of every group that are victims of hate speech or none at all. That 100% didn’t happen here. This isn’t just the incident where Bobby went as low as he low as he did. This board does nothing to discourage the use of slurs against the mentally challenged. That contributed to Bobby continually pushing the envelope over a long period of time to get to the point where he felt licensed to say what he did. For days if looked like he was right. He pushed until he went way over the line and nothing happened . I’d like to know who monitors the report button besides Clutch. . Not as a poster, but as the leader of an Autism group, I’m appalled at the rehab attempt of someone who has roamed the board disparaging those who demand dignity for individuals on the spectrum then rained hate speech on an individual on the spectrum. I don’t think the mods have read enough of that garbage like other posters have nor do they understand how wrong it is to have not taken it seriously when reported. If the owner of this site wants to rehab a hate addict and I certainly don’t think he’d rehab someone saying something similar in racial tone. He should at least have taken the time to understand the scope of the slurs and hate going on. Banning Bobby does nothing if Clutch allows everyone else to keep using disabled individuals as the instrument to insult. Many people reported it this latest incident. They sat around for days afterward watching a smug Bobby gloating before Clutch finally shows up. He bans him. I wasn’t happy it took awhile to ban him and I certainly was ready to have received a temp ban for my part. Still, I sent Clutch a note to say thanks for addressing the issue.Around that time I realized that I hadn’t become a supporting member and I had no right to b**** about slow service in the future if I didn’t pay for service. So I paid then only to have Clutch a couple of days ago question why I contributed when I did . He then refunded the money saying he had not done his job. My point was lost on him as I was paying forward thinking with the expectation of better service moving forward if I paid for it. End result I look like a poster with a complaint that hasn’t ever contributed to the board which isn’t true before I got supporter status. Clutch gave me deserved grief about my part in this. I apologized. But he shut down when we talked about us having dialogue before he reinstated Bobby. Let’s be honest I would also need to change my interaction with Bobby too. He said he wrote didn’t want to interact then because I was emotionally charged . What we got here as a result was a shocking reinstatement for a person who said one of the most vile things on this board’s history . This wound up being the equivalent of bringing the criminal back to the crime scene to reoffend with no consequences. Not sure this is a good step in rehab 101. This angered a lot of people. Some left, some expressed outrage that Bobby violated the terms of his reinstatement on the very first post back. When you set a precedent that if a poster spills his guts of all hate and later kisses the ring, you get to come back in 3 weeks. You are setting the bar for punishment for bad conduct. I think anyone that has been banned recently would at the very least get the considerations Bobby did sans letting him come back to reoffend and then the site doing nothing about it. I think we can all agree the latter was inappropriate. Again as an Autism community leader, I want equal considerations around here for disabled people as other groups that are targeted. I have formally asked Clutch to meet me in my role with my group with management of this website. He hasn’t responded to that request.
Bobby, you are guilty of far more than insulting one person in one thread. You really need to apologize to the entire community for years of verbally abusing and insulting countless members of this BBS. You need to learn how to express your opinions without the personal insults. You need to learn that you don't always have to have the last word in every debate. You need to learn that beating a dead horse is annoying as hell and it just creates animosity. Stop calling people "kiddo" just to get under their skin. Etc. Etc. Etc. You have posted in this verbally combative manner all over the internet for years. I know this is just how you are. So, it will be hard for you to change. I really do hope Clutch holds you accountable from this point forward. I don't like the idea of you being back, but that's not my call.
If what Bobby did warrant a 9-10 on a severity scale (1-10) yours might be a 2-3 or 1-2 depending who brought up the kid first. I don't know either one of you, Bobby or you, Granville, so it's more an advice than a criticism. I hope it stays that way because I do not intend to frequent D&D. Again, I am siding with your cause but I am not fully on board about the aggressive nature to go about things. I hope you do things more the pacifist way as a leader of a community.
It was confirmed in a previous thread where Bobby lied about not knowing I had an autistic son when he call me the R word. So that's where it started.... Not sure what you mean about the aggressive nature of things.. Read this... " I still feel pretty disgusted by that poster bringing his child into the discussion to use him as a weapon like he did" Think of a judge granting conditional probation with the victim in the courtroom... Sex offender I still feel pretty disgusted that the chick wore those shorts which cause me to grope her Car thief I'm disgusted that the guy parked that nice car near me causing me to have to steal it DWI fatality I still feel pretty disgusted by that person deciding to be on the road while I was drunk How in the world was the bolded statement not only a slap in the face of the victim, a probation violation and thumbing his nose at the court. In this situation the court says, ehhh not what we wanted. Victim and supporters move along and maybe I can get the offender to mean it next time. Bobby got booted for a major violation! I'm aggressive compared to that, yeah. How does anyone not have a right to be upset that Bobby was unbanned with a free pass to insult with the same justification that he falsely used before? In regards to me as a community leader, reaching out to Clutch is the pacifist route.
I personally don't care much if he is banned or not. I think calling someones kid a r****d is just the last straw for me. Only reason he is apologizing is so he can post on the board again, not cause he is genuinely sorry or cause he happens to realize he did something wrong. I try not to judge people as I have made plenty of mistakes in my life. I go to the D&D to read differing view points and really appreciate the discussion that takes place from both sides of the isle. That said, IMO life it just too short to deal with horrible human being such as Bobby. Reading his posts is just makes me sad to realize there are people like that in the world. I would just read past his posts anyways but I think this is the first time I'll use the ignore function. There is a fine line between free speech and hate speech and he zig zags around it way too often.
Pressuring Clutch to re-ban the mentioned poster in numerous posts by you and like minded posters because you could not live with his decision and were utterly disappointed, I see as a minor act of aggression. I understand it better now but this is a recreational message board and not a court room, and thank the lord, it is not. I am afraid you will not ever get the result or justice you seek mainly because Clutch has a big heart and will likely continue to forgive those wolves in sheep skin. Bobby the snake will put on his Meryl Streep costume and try put up an Oscar worthy apology performance.
This. Having him stay here here because of a desperate, insincere apology weeks after the incident and only after a historical amount of CF outrage had him sweating feels even worse than it already did. Guy comes back and uses the platform to take another disgusting jab at Granville, mocks everyone that is outraged and still knows he can play the cheap apology card while hiding behind a screen. Others alluded to it as well, knowing Clutch's time constraints and distate of the D&D he should really have a dedicated mod to consult about the behaviour&history of someone like Bobby before making such a decision. The "I felt like he is a really solid contributor to the sports forums" comment just shows the lack of insight that lead to such a wrong decision and a disconnect from the user base. Otherwise can't understand why he'd rather see several long-time posters go than the maybe most hateful and condescending poster on the board that has a history of shameful comments.
He should have a big heart for the most vulnerable members of society. Not so much for a person who has spent a great deal of time on this board demeaning those defending the dignity of those members of society by calling them emotionally crippled. My analogy is applicable as he has indeed granted conditional probation for an act on a member of a group he has chosen to govern. I have to set and enforce rules and guidelines within my own org. Clutch has chosen to do so here as well.
