What did he like to do? What did you like to do with him? Keep doing that. Everytime I talk to my cows or go hunting or fishing or whatever and other stuff, me and him have a talk. Remember those times, and all the others.
Falcon so sorry for your loss. I loss my father about 17 months ago. Allow yourself to grieve and don't bottle it up. I want to share something with you that I came across years ago, and when my father passed away it helped a great deal. Hang in there my friend!! "I'm old. What it means is that I've survived (so far) and a lot of people I've known and loved did not". I've lost friends, best friends,, acquaintances, co-workers, grandparents, mom, relatives, teachers, mentors, students, and I can't imagine the pain it must be to lose a child. But here's my two cents... I wish I could say you get used to people dying. But I never did. I don't want to. It tears a hole through me whenever somebody I love dies, no matter the circumstances. But I don't want it to "not matter". I don't want it to be something that just passes. My scars are a testament to the love and the relationship that I had for and with that person. And if the scar is deep, so was the love. So be it. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are a testament that I can love deeply and live deeply and be cut, or even gouged, and that I can heal and continue to live and continue to love. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Scars are a testament to life. Scars are only ugly to people who can't see. As for grief, you'll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you're drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it's some physical thing. Maybe it's a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it's a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive. In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don't even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you'll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what's going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything...and the waves come crashing. But in between the waves, there is life. Somewhere down the line, and it's different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O'Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some piece of the wreckage, but you'll come out. Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, somehow you don't really want them to. But you learn that you'll survive them. And other waves will come. And you'll survive them too. If you're lucky, you'll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks".
I’m so sorry to hear this! My sister, kids and husband were in a bad car wreck last week and required surgeries, doesn’t even compare, I cant imagine what your going through, stay strong.
My deepest condolences FT. I lost my dad a little over 2 years ago and it was one of the toughest periods of my life. The best way I’ve found to cope with the grief and honor his memory is to do things that remind me of him. My love of sports is owed entirely to my dad, and when the Astros got that final out in game 7 I cried more than at any time since his death. But they were happy tears, as I knew he was watching along with me, wherever he is. My dad took me to Astros opening day nearly every year both as a kid and as an adult. Yesterday I took my 4 year old daughter to her first Astros game, to continue the tradition. Hang in there man, and don’t be afraid to lean on others for support.
i'm sorry for your loss op, my deepest condolences. i cannot imagine to begin to imagine the pain of losing a parent or someone you deeply love. we, the cf family, are here for you. damn, ****in this! i am lucky to still have both my parents, although they are both very old. reading this reminds me of how nothing in this life lasts forever, even my parents. i don't know who will go first, me or them, but the thought of a very real inevitability scares the living schitte out of me. reading this post got me to thinking about that... and got my eyes a little dusty. i don't know how (or if i ever will) cope of losing someone i love so deeply like my parents, and i try to prepare for it, but i don't think i ever will. hang in there op. the reminder of someone passing away always makes me cherish my parents, wife, and family even more. i know everything will not last. life is not fair.
Sorry, buddy. I lost my dad a couple years ago, as well. I try to do the things he used to do for my Mom. I'm not even close to who he was, but I know he'd want me to try to help my mom with things he used to do. (Mostly physical stuff, but I help her with her Real Estate, car issues, etc.)
FT, I’m incredibly sorry for your loss. Death is something that I will never get used to. Whether it’s a loved one or someone from afar, I feel them all. The finality of death and knowing you will not share more in this lifetime is the toughest pill to swallow. If there are positives (Which there are) it that he no longer suffers and all the memories you made will never go away. Words are never enough to comfort us in loss, we just need the time to heal. I truly wish you and your family nothing but the best in this difficult time. So I don’t want to make this about me one bit, I was not going to share, but I lost my father on March 11th of this year to cancer. So I absolutely feel you. Be as strong as you can. Remember the great times together and the lessons taught. While your father is physically gone, nothing can ever take away the bond and the experiences you shared together and he will always be with you.
I want to thank all of you for you kind words. Your compassion brings back all the feelings. Letting out my thoughts and feeling really does help. I still have a hard time wrapping my my mind around Dad's passing, even though my feelings don't lie. I thought I had gone through some rough times in my life, but nothing compares to this. I'm thankful that I could spend the time I did with Dad in his last days. I just wish I could have done more. Thank you again my CF brothers. I'd like to share some of Dad's pictures with you. https://www.dignitymemorial.com/obi...berto-garza-7800103?filter=family#remembering https://ddgfqeo643onm.cloudfront.net/cmi/3/0/1/0/7800103/m_171010.mp4
So sorry to hear this, FT. Just be glad you had such a great relationship with your Dad and that you got to spend so much time with him. If you have kids (I actually can't remember), just know that your Dad's legacy will be the relationship you have with them. Be as special to them as your Dad is to you.
Thanks for sharing pics of your dad. He lives on with you and the rest of your family and you pass those memories along to the little ones. Hang in there!!
sorry to hear about your dad as well texanskan. I certainly understand that it's still tough. How many times have I reached for the phone to call my dad only to get punched in the stomach that he's gone.